Friday, December 10, 2010

Wisdom.


Today's Reverb prompt is in regards to the best decision I made all year and how it has effected me.

This is hard. I run through a multitude of big decisions I have made- moving in with the boy, relocating to Florida for the winters so I can be with him, quitting my day job and starting to write, beginning this blog-- and I realized these were all great decisions which I mostly made at the end of 2009, not 2010. Now I panic, I can't think of a single decision I made this year!

Of course there have been decisions I have had to make which go beyond the every-day sort of scuffle you have with yourself over the chocolate chip mocha fudge or the handful of nuts as dessert; not that those conclusions have no effect on me-- but I digress. Jamie and I decided to buy our new house, we decided to live closer to nature and we plan on making steps to become more self-sufficient (agriculturally) come next spring. . . But really that whole thing got started by our decision to look for a new house in Pennsylvania. Actually, I suppose the best decision we made was to stay in Pennsylvania.

We were considering making a move to a city and state where we could be active year-round, or at least where we had more nature and a wider variety of activities more available to us-- we loved Asheville, North Carolina, and all of Colorado and California seemed vibrant and progressive. In the end, we decided to give Pennsylvania another chance because it was where a majority of both our families still reside.

The agreement to remain in Pennsylvania has been one of the greatest decisions we could have made- thankfully both of us have been able to spend plenty of time with our families, which became especially important to me when my grandfather fell ill in August and continued to take turns for the worse before passing away in October. I was able to visit my grandfather almost every day, and it was easy for me to spend time with other family while we came to grips with my grandfather's situation. I am forever thankful for all of the stories I was able to hear from my grandfather and grandmother, and all the support we were able to give each other. If I had moved to another state I would never have been able to share those special and intimate moments with my family.

Now that my grandfather is gone, my grandmother is obviously having a hard time adjusting. I cannot imagine what it would be like to loose your best friend, lover, and confidant after over 60 years of being together. I visit my grandmother every week, and try to help her through everything she is going through. I have talked to my grandmother more these last three months than I had in my past 26 years of being her granddaughter. My grandmother has shared stories of her childhood, of motherhood, and gone through all of her memories via her large collection of photo albums. I feel so much more connected to my grandmother, and even though he is gone, my grandfather- just because I was able to spend the time to talk to each of them. Again, I know the only reason we have become so close and I have learned so much is because of my decision to remain in Pennsylvania.

While a large part of me wishes I was off exploring a new town or a new adventure, I will be forever thankful that I made the decision to remain nearby my family- without them I would not be the person I am today, and hopefully they feel my gratitude every time I see them.

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