Saturday, December 11, 2010

11 Things My Life Doesn't Need in 2011

In no particular order:
1.) LAZINESS. It has become so easy for me to hit the snooze button or turn off the alarm and not get out of bed. I don't have a nine to five (or, to be more accurate a 5 a.m. to 6 p.m.) schedule anymore, so there is very little which I "need" to wake up for, but really I am not doing myself any favors by starting out my day with an unintended extra hour of sleep. In fact, I feel like by snoozing I set myself up for a lazy and unproductive day. How do I get past the ever-beckoning snooze button? By scheduling my day so there is no room for being lazy: Writing in the morning and sequestering myself from all distractions.

2.)PROCRASTINATION. Okay, this goes hand-in-hand with laziness, but really, in order to eliminate one I feel like I need to eliminate the other. If I want to stop using the snooze button I need to stop telling myself I can get it all done later. "I have all the time in the world," I say, as I flip through the Morning Shows after sleeping in an extra hour-- then somehow it is 4 p.m. and I am supposed to be meeting my friends for dinner at 6 in King of Prussia and I haven't worked out, had a shower or written a thing because I have been watching a documentary on Dying Stars. Well, NO MORE.

3.)MAKING EXCUSES. The boy knows I am famous for making excuses. "I didn't write today because I woke up too late and needed to get my workout done." "I had the piece of cake because it was for the Holiday Party, I figured it would be rude not to, everyone else was having some." "I can't find my other one so I had to buy this one, which is nicer." I have an excuse for everything. But really, an excuse is something you hide behind when you have done something wrong. You know it. The other person knows it. The only solution is to stop making excuses and start making changes.

4.)DOUBT. Obviously there will always be uncertainty in my life, but there is no reason for me to have a lack of faith in myself or what my future holds. I need to be more positive and confident in myself.

5.)COMPULSIVE SHOPPING & BROWSING. I feel like everyone does it (or maybe that is just an excuse): I walk into a store, try something on, talk to the shopkeeper and then I feel as though I HAVE to buy something, to make all my time and effort and chatter feel more worthwhile. Or maybe there is such a good sale I need to browse- I wouldn't be doing myself or my friends justice if I just walked on by without seeing if there was anything perfect for someone (and a deal!). I can sit for an hour and browse an online store, but I can't sit for an hour and force myself to stare at a screen, forcing myself to write. Why the mindless browsing? I don't have time to psycho-analyze myself so I am going to chalk it up to a love of nice things and good deals. Regardless, it needs to be altered if not stopped. Maybe I can save online shopping/browsing for an end-of-day hobby as opposed to an all-day event.

6.)CLUTTER. It is all over my desk, in my closet and hiding in my still-to-be-unpacked moving boxes in the garage and various closets. I just need to eliminate all unwanted and unused goods, donate what I can, and only then will l be free.

7.)DRAMA. I'm not saying I expect 2011 to be without set-backs, heartaches or arguments, I am just saying I don't need any created drama- the type of drama which is caused simply to achieve drama, make a stir and shake things up. How will I get rid of it? See numbers eight and nine.

8.)PASSING JUDGEMENT. I hate that I internally and outwardly express my approval of people, it makes me feel terrible about myself and I am sure if others knew what I was doing they would dislike me. I am very strongly against racism, sexism, homophobia and ageism, so why would I speak negatively about others? It is horribly wrong of others to treat people with less respect just because they are not the same as them; so why would I snigger at someone who is wearing something a size too small or talk about someone who I think is not doing what they should? To take a line from Mahatma Gandhi, I "must be the change (I) wish to see in the world". I will stop rating people and imposing my standards on them, in hopes the rest of my little world will follow my lead.

9.)GOSSIP. Stop spreading it and stop listening to it.

10.)FAILURE TO EXPRESS GRATITUDE. I love writing thank you cards, and although I have made an attempt to write Thank You's to those who have helped me pull off a party or brought over a housewarming gift, I feel like I need write them more often. Even more than that, I think just saying the words "Thank You" and meaning them is something I have somehow gone through my adult life without doing. Maybe it is because I don't like having others do things for me, so I try not to acknowledge when someone has gone out of their way for me, because I am in some way embarrassed? Regardless, I am going to be better at being thankful and expressing my appreciation.

11.)SELF DEPRECATION. Often, when talking with my friends or family or even when I am alone and browsing through a magazine or watching a movie, I compare myself with the model/actress/person walking by and pick myself apart-- saying things like "I wish I had her body", "If only I could drop a few more pounds," or "I will never be that skinny again." Why all the self-hatred? I made it a priority in my life last year to become more healthy, and I have more than stuck to my goals- so I should be happy with what I have accomplished- not striving for some unattainable and largely unhealthy ideal. I will never be 5'8" and rail thin. My hair and makeup cannot be professionally styled every day. But I can continue to be my 5'3", healthy, and radiant self. All I can do is be the best version of myself, whatever that may entail. So, I am saying so-long to that age-old game of comparisons and focusing on what is right for me.

What are eleven things you don't need in your life in 2011? How will you eliminate them?


  1. I love it! I need to do the same things, starting now.

  2. For myself, I would also add:
    I need to stop feeding off of other people's energy and making it my own.
    I need to stop thinking everything is about me, and if someone is in a bad mood, it has to be because of me. I need to stop thinking I'm the most important (or only) thing in other people's lives.
    I need to stop giving anxiety so much attention. It only feeds it.
    I need to start thinking of how other people feel, what their daily stresses are, and what I can do to make life easier for them.
    I need to stop rushing. It creates too much adrenaline, which makes me feel unwell.
    I need to stop looking to other people to make me feel stable, happy, relaxed.
    Thanks, Beth, for writing this post :)

  3. Thanks Felicia! I definitely need to put a few of your goals on my docket as well. :)

  4. Beth you are doing such a wonderful job with this! I am proud of you lady! Cannot wait to play in Marco :)