Why is it that we are all so vain? Part of me hates the part of me that cares about how I look. Part of me hates the part of me that decides not to do my hair or makeup, and just go au naturale.
Let's discuss. Most days, I decide to let my hair air-dry, I forgo all makeup and I wear what feels comfortable and yet appealing. I frankly hate having to get ready- because getting ready means not only buying in to the idea that in order to be beautiful one must be mainstream, but also because it is a pain in the ass. So, for years, while friends and co-workers don their 30-minute to an hour's worth of product, I generally opted for some lip gloss and a coat of mascara. While people spent their mornings trying on various outfits I put on whatever felt right. If you ask my college roommates they would tell you that would mean a pair of ripped jeans, my favorite O.A.R. t-shirt, and flip-flops. Flip flops, in fact were worn even in the winters of North-western Pennsylvania, unless there was snow-- but I digress. Even today, I tend to go for comfortable clothing over form-fitting va-va-voom outfits.
There have been, especially more recently, times in my life when I did give a damn about my appearance. Most formal occasions, for example. On holidays and weddings, my sister is delegated to putting on my makeup, an arduous task, because I frankly look like a monkey when it comes to putting on my own face, and she is generally embarrassed of my attempts (think:tons of various blushes, concealers and moisturizers open, as I shakily put eyeliner everywhere on my eyelid but the proper place). So, I stick to my mascara and lip gloss, but stare at counters fully of beautifully packaged beauty products longingly and wonder if I can be taught to put it on. . . Then I suddenly feel silly- why do I need all that gook?
Admittedly, once I graduated from college and got out in the real world- I had a bit of money and began to pay attention to fashion- I liked looking polished and a bit more put together, and then I liked following fashion even more closely, and now it has hit an apex, wherein I spend hours staring at the latest new thing, read my Vogue hungrily, and lean close to the point of self-destruction when I realize I do not have the money to buy half of the crap I long to have. Just now, I spent an hour online staring at the new Fall Fashion Trends for this year on net-a-porter.com and added about 50 unnecessary items to my wish list. What has happened to me?
Now, I think maybe I'm being a little bit hard on myself: Is it bad for me to want to look good, to take an interest in my appearance? no. Does it mean I think that appearances are all that matters? no. Do I judge others on their appearance? no, not really, unless I meet them in a dark alley I don't tend to make snap judgments about people. Can someone be independent, free-thinking, and feminist-leaning and still care about their appearance? I think so. Or is it that I am being beaten-down by all the media hype as to who I should be and what I should care about, making me really not as independent, free-thinking and feminist-leaning as I thought? mm, I hope not.
There, now I feel better. Sort of.
In any case, all this really started rolling around in my head after I read this interesting article from The New York Times on French Women's Secrets to Aging Well- and then wondering what really drew me to the article i.e. Why am I worried about aging when I am in my late 20's? Should I really care this much now? At least the French may have it right- age gracefully, proudly showing your age but maintaining Style and Dignity.
Comments? Questions? Concerns?
P.S. What do you think of this romper? Too Much?
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